October 16, 2005

let us consider.

there is pleasure in being ordinary.

doing the very same things I've always wanted to do, simple things, but yeah, things I never did get down to doing: humming kookish tunes, helping myself to all those wonderful treats, taking a slow stroll along the beach, buying the occasional cream puff, thinking about the dreams and ambitions I've always had, reading at leisure in bookstores, residing in the perfect recluse of home, lounging in quaint teahouses and taking in the aroma of tea, not having to bother myself with responsibility and commitment, and yes, the occasional visit to the zoo.

I haven't lost that part of myself, have I? and as long as I stay true to what I have and do believe in: the beauty of the human soul, the good in every person, the dreams I had since I was a child, and in particular, love; I realise that the opinions of others don't really matter. there isn't any issue of having to keep up with appearances, or to please, because I am what I am. and if I expect others to see me and know me as who I really am, I have to be the person I am, not some silly character that looks like me, but hey, I actually don't really know. I wish for people to know me, just as I am, just as I know myself. the peace one experiences within is invaluable, yet something many do not possess. it is possible to be the person you once were, before all the dirt of the world started to taint your soul. really. it is.

so what have I been up to all this while? perhaps spending my time on things I know won't work out anyway, things superficial, things temporal. but it's not too late. I can do something about it; turn back, and continue from where I left off. I can change.

understand me for who I am, and not who I try to be.

there is pleasure in being ordinary.
there is pleasure in just being me.
gid posted at 18:06