March 30, 2006

post-mortem.



are we moved only by the things we see?

the mind is powerful, it allows us to imagine, invent, even re-create. but does it always do so? a while back, I was momentarily moved by the re-visit of the past, life-sized, in full splendour and technicolour. or so it seemed. and that was soothing, for all of a few days. soon, that dullness set in, and shades of grey filled all that was. and it was then that I knew that what I thought I wanted, couldn't get hold of, and finally did, actually didn't really matter much to me anymore.

or did it matter in the first place?

when time passes us by, that kairos moment lost, could it be possible that all that was meant to be has faded into nothingness, because it has been made history? for history is history, re-live the moment at best we try, but only a mere shadow of the former. glory is lost, and along with it meaning.

in our vain attempts to find meaning in life, perhaps the very reason why it is so elusive, lies therein the fact that meaning is created when we find ourselves in what we have always desired. and because we don't exactly know what we want due to the shifting values and morals, we don't find any meaning. what's worse, we discover the horrifying fact that our character and values are subject to our circumstances.

and so, what was never is, what is may not necessarily be what we perceive as we venture a little way further down that road.
gid posted at 11:48