July 13, 2006

keep running. pray do.

I came across something last night, and I must say that I am disappointed.

not having read, heard or seen anything for quite a while, I wonder why I went somewhere unfamiliar, not quite been there before, and saw something that caused me to grieve. I know I won't be perusing any responses, or even try to look for any, so this really is for me to air what's inside of me.

I don't have many words. but I am disappointed, and yes, sad, because I see a life in progress of healing regressing to such a state because of certain choices made. I really wonder, does that make you happy at all? I think you're better at knowing than me, that living in the world only makes one filled with bitterness, regret, and pain. so why go back to the old lifestyle once again? exchange a life on the road to recovery with low-living, is it worth it?

I guess I feel grieved, because you are slowly becoming the very person you hated and said you wouldn't become; one that is worldly, one that loves the material, one that doesn't give two hoots about tomorrow. that is shallow. and it isn't you, at all.

can you really see purpose in all this? can you even see yourself in all this? coming this far, only to fall again, is possibly one of the greatest tragedies. living in the past, will you step out of it once and for all?

I don't know about anything else, but I sincerely believe there is still something in you, a sliver of reason, a measure of self-worth, a dose of love, that tells you there surely is something better than this. don't give up on what is better just because of your disappointments and your past.

don't go back. don't go back to the old life. it will bring you only sorrow and pain. you know that better than I do.

it isn't worth it, and you're better than this. you are.

my burden, love, and concern for you are everlasting. take heed, that you still do matter to someone, rain or shine. and that's a promise that lasts.

remember the song? keeping 'running the race'. tired as you may be, it's still possible. and I will be one of those to help you finish your course.

don't take this the wrong way, I care more than you thought possible.

whatever it is, know one thing, that my heart is still with you.
take care.
gid posted at 23:45